Asking Eric: Friend insists she’s messaging with celebrities online

DEAR ERIC: My friend has been totally engrossed with messaging celebrities through Telegram. So far, she has been in contact with four musicians. Two of the four have promised to come visit with her.
After the first celebrity visit fell through, I asked her repeatedly to block this contact. She vacillates between blocking and then unblocking him because she just wants to read his message.
It seems as if this has taken on a life of its own, with the constant messaging and planning for the visits. I am not sure if she has given any of the celebrities money, but I suspect she has. What steps should her friends and family take to get her back to reality?
– Starstruck
DEAR STARSTRUCK: As you surely already suspect, it’s highly unlikely that these people on Telegram, an encrypted messaging and social media app, are the actual celebrities they’re claiming to be.
Though Telegram reportedly has more than 950 million active users and some of them are likely well-known, the way these interactions are going has more in common with a romance scam than a brush with fame. According to the Federal Trade Commission, there were more than 64,000 reported romance scams in 2023, raking in $1.14 billion dollars. And the FBI has a special webpage specifically dedicated to them. Visit FBI.gov or the Internet Crime Complaint Center (ic3.gov) and see if any of the common tactics resonate with what you’re seeing.
If you’re noticing a pattern, walk your friend through the pages as well. Let her know that she’s not alone nor should she feel ashamed. But emphasize your concern for her safety and financial well-being.
Even if the warning signs aren’t as prominent, it’s important to voice your reservations over her habit.
Should she still insist the celebs are the real deal, she’s got to come up with a good vetting system. Before any plans are made, the celebrity should video chat or at the very least send a video message responding to specific questions, for instance. But, because she’s gotten so involved in this practice, I worry that she’s not in a place to prioritize her safety without a clear boundary. For instance, the only way she should be giving these musicians money is by buying concert tickets or albums.
(Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at [email protected] or P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com.)
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